Having Fun With It

After a much more successful Challenge 1 than anticipated, I was equal parts excited and terrified to write the next challenge. I hadn’t expected the first challenge to go so well, and with the chance of moving on to the next round now a possibility, I knew I had to give it my best shot. This time, I had to write a crime caper, set in a pigsty and featuring a flashlight. With so many ways this story could go, I decided to embrace the “caper” of the crime caper style and have some fun with it. So enjoy my mischievous barnyard animals on their heist of the pigsty.

The Grass is Always Greener

Sick of the preferential treatment the pigs receive each mealtime, the other farm animals decide to take matters into their own hands. Or hooves.

The pigs have it all. The five of them share a sty in the middle of the homestead, overlooking the lush green pastures housing the other farm animals. Part of their pen is enclosed in a corner of the barn, but for whatever reason they seem to love the mud covering every inch of their outdoor enclosure. They have each other for company, but best of all, they have a trough. A glorious trough that gets filled each evening by the weathered farmer, with scraps straight from his table. They root through their meal, scarfing it away like it’s the best food on planet earth. It’s enough to make a little rat like me jealous. Nobody feeds me each evening, and the last time I tried to get in on the trough action with the pigs, I just about lost my beautiful tail. I could of course take from the other animals, but the pigs eat much faster, so theirs has to be better.

I know I can’t accomplish a task like this on my own. So, I’ve assembled an elite squadron of fellow farm animals, all sick of the preferential treatment the pigs get. Elite might be a stretch, but I’m sure they’re up for the challenge. The way that the pig’s food disappears each evening, it’s guaranteed to be better than what we’ve got. For my tail’s sake, this time I am prepared.

My plan started last night trading with Ben the raccoon. He’s hard to work with, and only comes out at night, but I’ll be damned if he can’t always get his grubby little hands on anything I need. Last night it was a flashlight, in exchange for me leaving the latch open on the stables feed room. He might be a good thief, but I can fit through much smaller holes than he can. Then, I got him to help me roll a watermelon to the side of the barn where I’m sure it won’t be found by anyone. With the supplies in order, it’s time to meet my team.

First up, Missy the goose. Her loud honk is the perfect signal. Offer her first dibs on the creepy crawlies living in the trough and she’ll do anything, except maybe keep her mouth shut. I’m not sure that’s possible. Next, Bumper. As far as goats go, he’s on the smaller side, but makes up for it with enthusiastic use of his horns. Finally, the distraction. I probably didn’t even need to ask Dusty, he’s always the unwilling participant in his own shenanigans. Not sure why the farmer keeps the old horse around, I swear he’s constantly stuck in something, the fence, his water trough, a hole. But we need precise timing.

Just before the sun sets, my team assembles at the edge of Dusty’s field.

“Ok team, listen up. You all know your roles and if we play this right, we’re eating like royalty tonight.” I start.

“It’s about time we tried this” Missy begins, “You know, I was just thinking the other day about how unfair it is the pigs get so much food! I was telling Fred-”

“Share later” interrupts Bumper, hoping from one hoof to the next, “I’m hungry.”

“That’s enough, you’re acting like animals.” I say, glaring at both of them.

Each of us head out to our assigned locations. I go to where I stashed the flashlight in the corner of the sty, Missy to the roof where she can see the farmhouse, and Bumper rolls the watermelon to just outside the pigsty’s gate, hiding in the tall grass around the fence. Dusty doesn’t move much, but he’s already in the right spot.

The sun begins to set. Missy sends out three quick honks before flying down to meet Bumper. Our target is on the move. He rounds the corner and I see his bucket, brimming with fresh new slop. It’s about to be our fresh new slop. He opens the pig’s gate and fills their trough with slimy goodness. We have to move fast before the pigs get their snouts in our bounty. As soon as the farmer turns his back, I hop up and down on the flashlight, hitting the button Ben showed me to push, sending off pulses of light to distract the pigs so that they don’t get to the slop before we do. As the farmer moves to shut the gate, Missy sends off one more honk. It’s Dusty’s turn. He lets out a panicked neigh from the far field.

“Dammit, not again.” The farmer notices Dusty caught up in the fence. “I swear you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

It worked. The farmer leaves to go rescue Dusty and the gate is wide open for Missy and Bumper. They roll the watermelon past the pigs and into the barn. I stop flashing the light and the pigs look around dazed.

“Come and get it boys” Missy sings, standing on the watermelon in the barn.

Watermelon is decidedly much more interesting than slop, and the pigs gleefully race into the barn right past Bumper waiting next to the gate, kicking it shut once the last curly tail is inside.

“That’s how it’s done!” exclaims Bumper. “Time for the meal of a lifetime!”

We meet at the trough and take a moment of appreciation for the beautiful sight in front of us. Full of bugs for Missy, some old bits of veggies for Bumper, and more food than I could possibly eat. Best of all, my tail is perfectly safe. I pull aside a couple apple cores for Dusty, can’t have him whining that we forgot about him stuck in the fence. We dig in, savoring the spoils of our hard work.

“Ya know,” Bumper remarks, “This really isn’t much different then what I get in my pen, and that’s way easier to get.”

I wouldn’t dare admit this out loud, but he’s right. 

This story ended up placing me 7th, enough to move on to the next round! Setting off into the next round, i was even more nervous, but my excitement at the chance to keep writing overpowered the nerves. I’ll be updating soon with how round two went!